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Seasonal Special

Merry Christmas Every Listener

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published: 20 December 2013

duration: 47' 07"

Presented by: Gareth Jones, Richard Porter & Zog

#212 Seasonal Special. F1 double points, driver numbers and a new team. Car toys of our Christmas past and the future for cars and motorsport.
Sniff Petrol on McNish and the Nativity. Plus our new Xmas song “Why Did They make Nigel Mansell Santa Claus?”

Santa Mansell

Gareth Jones On Speed & Sons
Why Did They Make Nigel Mansell Santa-Claus?

Santa's dead
Fell off his sled
No time to grieve
It's Christmas Eve

They need someone to fill in
Someone with a heavy boot
But their choice is rather strange
Though he's fat enough to fill the suit

Chorus
Oh why did they, make Nigel Mansell Santa-Claus?
I can't believe that this will go to plan
Oh I believe in many things at Christmas
But I don’t believe Santa comes from Birmingham

In Adelaide
He's got it made
Gifts on their way
In a Williams sleigh

But then disaster strikes our Nige
Oh, how could this get worse
Sparks all over the roof
One of the reindeer's burst

Oh why did they make Nigel Mansell Santa-Claus?
It comes across as completely the wrong choice
Oh I like to hear so many things at Christmas
But I don’t want to hear a moany Brummie voice

In Monaco
Tales of woe
Kids got no gifts
And it’s the 26th

They say he did his best
To get round on his sleigh
But at every single bend
The ghost of Senna was in the way

Oh why did they make Nigel Mansell Santa Claus?
As decisions go, it’s really very crap
Oh I want to see so many things at Christmas
But not Saint Nic in a branded sponsor’s cap

Hunt wasn’t available
Chilton had run out of cash
Kimi’s incomprehensible
And Grosjean would have crashed.

So Nige became our Santa
And this a Yuletide farce
But I’m sure somewhere there’s a chimney
Wide enough to fit his arse.

When he thought he'd got it sorted
Things were going well
Oh no! his sleigh’s been taken out
By TV’s Tiff Needell

Oh why did they make Nigel Mansell Santa Claus?
As decisions go, it all seems rather rash
Oh I believe in many things at Christmas
But I don’t believe that Santa has a moustache

Oh why did they make Nigel Mansell Santa Claus?
The whole thing's really turned out very weird
Oh I hope for so many things at Christmas
And I hope they use…. Taki Inoue next year 
Yes I hope they use….. Taki Inoue next yeeeeeear.

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Written by: Gareth Jones & Richard Porter

Vocals: Gareth Jones, Richard Porter, Zog , Violet Berlin & No1 Son & No2 Son

Instruments & production: Gareth Jones

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©Gareth Jones December 2013

© Gareth Jones 2005-2013