#044 Christmas Special. Our own adaptation
by Sniff Petrol of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol
where Bernie Ecclescrooge is confronted by Moseley’s
Ghost, Violet Berlin sets her traditional annual complicated
car quiz. And this year’s Gareth Jones On Seed Christmas
song performed by “The Rogues” - Be Careful
Out There This Christmas.
"The Rogues"
– Be Careful Out There This Christmas
(Boy)
It was 28 days before Christmas
Your car it needed a service
The fan belt had broke,
(Girl)
I started to choke I admit I was feeling a bit nervous
I saw you drive by with a glint in your eye
(Boy)
It was smoke that gave me that teer.
(Girl)
I stuck out my thumb at last luck had come
(Boy)
For the moment, so it would appear
(Girl)
As this hitch-hiker looked for a lift
Three wise men came bearing their gifts
(Boy)
I don’t think that they were Kings
(Girl)
They were bad scary things
(Boy)
And something ‘bout this looked unusual
They were big hairy yins,
(Girl)
or were they just skins?
(Boy)
And one of them looked like a casual
So be careful out there
this Christmas
You might meet a dangerous feller
You might meet a bod who is scabby or odd
Who could be a serial killer
Be careful out there on the road
Of those who are packing a load
You’re safest by far, alone in your car
Be careful out there this Christmas
(Boy)
Oh it’s fun to be smashed, at a Christmas bash
(Girl)
But way too much booze is just sinful
So please crash where you are
(Boy)
No I’ll get in the car
I drive better when I’ve had a skinful
Oh be careful out there
this Christmas
When gallons of beer are sunk
Stay in at home, don’t go it alone
Coz the roads are all littered with drunks
(Girl)
We’ll see Auntie Jo on the way
(Boy)
If the traffic’s bad Christmas we’ll pay
(Girl)
Whatever the route they’re as drunk as a coot
I’d be safer on the streets of Beirut
(Boy)
I’m not driving I’ve told you on Christmas Day
Let’s leave it at least until May
So Christmas
came
And then Christmas Went
The same as it did last year
No cash for the rent
All our money was spent
On petrol and diesel and beer
Remember that Christmas is not for the world
In some parts the spirit is minor
They have Hanukah and Eid
And A1 Grand Prix
In Taupo, New Zealand and China
Chorus
So be careful out there this Christmas
Advice that I want you to heed
Don’t go out for spin, just stay in
And download Gareth Jones On Speed.
So simply stay in with Violet Berlin,
This Christmas that’s all that you’ll need
Plus Richard and Zog and a yuletide log
Merry Christmas from Gareth Jones On Speed
Merry Christmas from
Gareth Jones On Speed
-
Written and sung by Gareth
Jones & Violet Berlin
Guitar, drums, bass,
accordion and production by Gareth Jones
Irish instruments
by Dr Steve Summers
Virtual Bodhran by Zog
Additional production by Toby Jarvis at McCasso
©Gareth Jones December 2007
