#046 Listening to GJOS in the car, being overtaken
by an F1 driver on the road. Would you buy an Apple i-Car? Car
slang what car has the most ridiculous nick-name: Bimmer, Fezzer?
we reveal something even worse. Sniff Petrol presents the left-wing
cabbie, and Gareth sings - “Minicab Driver”.
Gareth Jones On Speed vs Sniff Petrol - Minicab Driver
I couldn't be much further from the French Riviera
Than sitting in the back of this Nissan Primera.
I should be sipping cocktails on the Adriatic Sea
Instead I'm breathing in his lemon scented Magic Tree®.
Oh minicab drivers aren't the best,
But I doubt if this bloke could even pass the driving test.
For 15 minutes we’ve been stuck in this estate
Now he stops for petrol, and now I’m going to be late.
He needs help navigating so I lend a hand
But he's speaking in a language I just don’t seem to
understand.
He doesn't get it, I don't want Westminster Abbey
It’s like I’m speaking Urdu, but he’s hearing
Punjabi
CHORUS
Other modes of transport start to look real fab
When you spend your time in a minicab.
Other modes of transport start to look real fab
When you spend your time in a minicab.
His springs have sprung, his dampers are damp
The seat smells worse than the stench of a tramp.
But really this trip could have been terribly bad
If I’d paid 60 quid to travel in a London black cab.
I think I'd rather travel in an Austin Maxi
Than this puke-stained, smoky, dodgy, amateur’s taxi.
CHORUS
Other modes of transport start to look real fab
When you spend your time in a minicab.
Other modes of transport start to look real fab
When you spend your time in a minicab.
I really wish I wasn’t sitting in the back seat
Of this puke-stained, smoky, dodgy amateur’s taxi.
He’s been driving around for a hundred hours this week
He doesn’t look alert; he could do with some sleep.
He supplements his income with stuff he’s offering me
No mate, I don’t want to buy a mobile phone, or a DVD.
The music on his radio is week and pathetic
So we talk about politics and the terrible traffic.
He’s polite on the road, not rude or unforgiving
I guess he’s just like me, he’s just trying to
earn a living.
CHORUS
Other modes of transport start to look real fab
When you spend your time in a minicab.
Other modes of transport start to look real fab
When you spend your time in a minicab.
This is the worst journey I’ve ever had see
Sitting in this backseat of this illegal taxi.
I think I’d rather suck and lick an ear that
is waxy
Than travel this puke-stained, smoky, dodgy, amateur’s
taxi.
I think I’d rather have a jack boot up me jacksi
Than get caught in this freeze-frame from Koyaanisqatsi.
Please don’t make me travel in a dodgy taxi
Please don’t make me travel in a dodgy taxi.
---------------
Gareth Jones: Words, voices, Stylophone™
and mix.
Richard Porter: Instrument programming.
Radio communications kindly supplied with a
smile by Sam's Cars London, N16
www.samcsars.co.uk
who are quite the opposite of a dodgy taxi firm.
