published: 12 December 2014
duration: 37' 05"
Presented
by: Gareth Jones, Richard Porter & Zog
#238 On Speed 2014 Festival Season Special. We play car-based family games and engage in some Secret Santa classic car gift-giving. Sniff Petrol on: Christmas with Bernie Claus, the VAG Group and a seasonal message from Morgan. Plus Melissa J Heathcote sings Why Did they make Nigel Mansell Santa Claus.
Melissa J Heathcote
Why Did They Make Nigel Mansell Santa-Claus?
Santa's dead,
Fell off his sled,
No time to grieve,
It's Christmas Eve.
They need someone to fill in,
Someone with a heavy boot,
But their choice is rather strange,
Though he's fat enough to fill the suit.
Oh why did they, make Nigel Mansell Santa-Claus?
I can't believe that this will go to plan,
I believe in many things at Christmas,
But I don’t believe that Santa comes from Birmingham.
In Adelaide,
He's got it made,
Gifts on their way,
In a Williams sleigh.
Then disaster strikes our Nigel
Oh, how could this get worse?
Sparks all over the roof.
One of the reindeer's burst.
Oh why did they make Nigel Mansell Santa-Claus?
It comes across as completely the wrong choice,
Oh I like to hear so many things at Christmas,
But I don’t want to hear a moany Brummie voice.
They say he did his best,
To get round on his sleigh,
But at every single bend,
The ghost of Senna was in the way.
Oh why did they make Nigel Mansell Santa Claus?
As decisions go, it’s really very crap.
I want to see so many things at Christmas,
But not Saint Nic in a branded sponsor’s cap.
Hunt wasn’t available,
Chilton had run out of cash,
Kimi’s incomprehensible,
And Grosjean would have crashed.
So Nige became our Santa,
And this Yuletide a farce,
But I’m sure somewhere there’s a chimney,
Wide enough to fit his arse.
When he thought he'd got it sorted,
Things were going well,
Oh no, his sleigh’s been taken out,
By TV’s Tiff Needell.
Oh why did they make Nigel Mansell Santa Claus?
As decisions go, it’s really rather rash,
Oh yeah I believe in many things at Christmas,
But I don’t believe that Santa has ‘tache.
Oh why did they make Nigel Mansell Santa Claus?
The whole thing's really turned out very weird,
Oh I hope for so many things at Christmas,
And I hope they use…. Taki
I hope they use…. Taki
Yes I hope they use….. Taki Inoue next year.
--
Vocals & Ukelele: Melissa J Heathcote
Written by: Gareth Jones & Richard Porter
Recorded by Zog.
