published: 19 December 2017
duration: 47' 35"
Presented by: Gareth Jones, Richard Porter, Zog and Violet Berlin
#326 Festive Special. Gifts we’d really like. Party games from Dave Stebbings: “6 Degrees of Ford Cortina” and “Never Mind The Buzzcars”. Sniff Petrol on Xmas with people in motorsport and The Contenders For The Formula One World Championship 2018 perform (Christmas Rapping) Put Me In The Fastest Car.
The Contenders For The Formula One World Championship 2018
(Max, Seb, Nando, Valtteri and Lewis)
Put Me In The Fastest Car (Christmas Rapping)
V1 (Max VERSTAPPEN)
I’m not writing to Santa,
that ain’t gonna happen
Adapt or be lapped, it’s me doin’ the lappin
Gonna make my mark
and I won’t be forgotten
I’m the Flying Dutchman
MC Verstappen
CHORUS (Verstappen)
I don’t want world peace for Christmas
When I wish upon a star
The gift I want is just the business
Put me in the fastest car.
V2 (Sebastian VETTEL)
I put the pedal to the metal and for 2nd I won’t settle
I’m always in the mix, in the middle, watch me meddle
I float like an ice cream, sting like a nettle
I put the bastard in Sebastian, you should call me Vettel
CHORUS (Vettel)
I don’t want world peace for Christmas
When I wish upon a star
The gift I want is just the business
Put me in the fastest car.
V3 (Valtteri BOTTAS)
Dear Santa I have most of what I need,
I’m a minimalist kind of guy
But can you help me please go quicker than Lewis, it’s hard, I know I’ve tried.
(But I would like a couple of tenths this Yule)
Yours DJ Valtteri Bottas, yeah that sounds cool.
CHORUS (Bottas)
I don’t want world peace for Christmas
When I wish upon a star
The gift I want is just the business
Put me in the fastest car.
V4 (Fernando ALONSO)
If I don’t get the hardware
I chillax in a deck chair
I’m cooler than Lewis, with slightly less facial hair.
I’m so potent I sneeze and girls have babies
I’m quick in Ferrari, a Renault or Mercedes
Honda engineering was the work of Hades
Their reliability has been a little shady
The last 3 seasons have been full of “ifs-and-maybes”.
But despite all that I’m a hit with the ladies
When they said we’re getting Renault
I said olé and signed at once so
I can get my McLaren
off the bloody the back row
I can finally stick it to the man they call Shoichiro
Honda power ha! made no sense, so
Your best bet for pace is to stick with me Alonso
CHORUS (Alonso)
I don’t want world peace for Christmas
When I wish upon a star
The gift I want is just the business
Put Alonso in the fastest car.
V5 (Lewis HAMILTON)
If you’re looking for the greatest
it’s me Lewis, no joke.
I’m the quickest off the line
watch all the others choke.
I’m like a hip-hop Senna
with touch of Greneda
But I did write crappy poetry
about Lady Diana
And if you’re looking for a rapper,
here’s the greatest reason.
I wrapped up the championship 2 whole races
before the end of the season.
CHORUS (Lewis)
I don’t want world peace for Christmas
When I wish upon a star
The gift I want is just the business
Put me in the fastest car.
CHORUS (All)
I don’t want world peace for Christmas
When I wish upon a star
The gift I want is just the business
Put me in the fastest car
Put me in the fastest car.
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Written, Performed and Produced By Gareth Jones
