published: 15 December 2022
duration: 00:53:03
Presented by: Gareth Jones, Alex Goy & Zog with Sarah Leach
#455 Holiday Special. We give each other virtual, impossible-to-buy car-related gifts. Sarah reports from Australia. We celebrate 2022 with ”The Speedoes” the On Speed Awards. Plus new On Speed music: Space For Christmas.
Gareth Jones On Speed - Space for Christmas
Artemis just flew to the Moon
So Earthb-ound humans can return there soon
Testing Orion
Is a reasonable reason
To be coming back to Earth for the holiday season.
CHORUS
Oh where ya gonna be for Christmas?
Ya gotta choose the very best place
You gotta be with friends and family
Tell me have ya got the space?
VERSE2
Wait, mate, you think that’s great
Let me tell you ‘bout Christmas for Apollo 8
Christmas Day 1968
Humans spent Christmas in a real weird state
Zero G meant a Christmas float
With a super-atmospheric Biblical quote.
CHORUS
Oh where ya gonna be for Christmas?
(Bill Anders): "We are now approaching lunar sunrise",
Ya gotta choose the very best place
(Bill Anders): "And for all the people back on Earth,"
You gotta be with friends and family.
(Bill Anders): The crew of Apollo 8 have a message
Tell me have ya got the space?
(Bill Anders):"That we would like to send to you"
Yeah Borman, Lovell & Anders
Celebrated Christmas
With no tinsel or no candles
When they achieved their lunar arrival
They read Genesis aloud from the Bible.
(Bill Anders): "In the beginning God created the heaven and the Earth.
And the Earth was without form, and void;
And darkness was upon the face of the deep.
And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters".
Xmas 1973
Slade are number one I’m as happy as can be
On Terra Firma Xmas is ace
But 3 US astronauts spent it all in space
Yeah Skylab 4 was bolder than 3
Using food cans to fashion
A rudimentary Christmas tree.
CHORUS
Oh where ya gonna be for Christmas?
Ya gotta choose the very best place
You gotta be with friends and family
Tell me have ya got the space?
If you’re gonna spend Xmas
In a space situation
You’re gonna need the skills of a once great nation
With a unique attitude to self hydration
Cosmonauts & Vodka– there’s a certain correlation
So they smuggled some aboard
The International Space Station.
CHANT
You can’t get drunk on the ISS
No, you can’t get drunk on the ISS
You can’t get drunk on the ISS
You can at Christmas
You can at Christmas.
CHORUS
Oh where ya gonna be for Christmas?
Ya gotta choose the very best place
You gotta be with friends and family
Tell me have ya got the space?
In space,
They can’t hear you scream
When you’re opening your presents
And what you get’s a dream
You’re floating like a butterfly
Way above the Jetstream.
I got lots of space for Christmas
Like the star of Bethlehem
But peace on Earth, good will for all humans
Women too, not just space men.
So where you gonna be for Christmas
Will ya celebrate that sci-fi birth?
In space or your favourite watering place
Peace out bro or pissed on Earth?
Peace out bro or pissed here on Earth?
Peace out
Merry Christmas.
(Frank Borman): And from the crew of Apollo 8, we close with good night, good luck, a Merry Christmas – and God bless all of you, all of you on the good Earth.
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Written performed & produced by Gareth Jones (with the voices of the crew of Apollo 8)
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Gareth Jones On Speed will return for Season 19 in 2023
