published: 14 December 2023
duration: 01:08:21
Presented by: Gareth Jones, Alex Goy, Sarah Leach & Zog
#480 Yuletide Special. Xmas gifts for people in the car world. We play “Who Wants To Be A Mastermind”. Our best & worst bits of 2023 and our hopes for the future. A sustainable message from Santa. Plus “Green Jay” perform A Car Called Christmas.
Green Jay - A Car Called Christmas
It’s that time of year again
That’s always a bit of a pain
Surprise & delight
Features fill new car
And we’ve got to give that car a name.
Twingo sounds like a biscuit
Funky Cat‘s just absurd
I gotta come up with something new
An identity, a name, a word.
Originality is my business
I’ve got the name for our new car
We’re gonna call it Christmas
It’s the best name for a car by far.
CHORUS
I’d drive a car called Christmas
And I’m an engineer
Not fuelled by diesel, gas or battery
But powered by a dozen deer.
I’d love a car called Christmas
And I would volunteer
That the best thing about it is
There’ll be a brand new one next year.
How about that for an idea?
You better believe
That the day before you buy it
Would feel like Christmas Eve.
It’s a psychological trick
That makes lots of sense
Because everybody loves Christmas
And everyone likes getting presents.
CHORUS 2
I’d drive a car called Christmas
And I’m an engineer
Not fuelled by diesel, gas or battery
But powered by a dozen deer.
I’d love a car called Christmas
And I would volunteer
That the best thing about it is
There’ll be a brand new one next year.
MID8
Car names can be “Cavalier”
Like the Polish “Tarpan Honker”
Or the “Mazda Bongo Friendee”
And the “Gaylord Gladiator”
AMC had issues with “Gremlin”
Ford pushed their “Probe” too far
Mitsubishi came up with “Toppo Guppy”
Is that a candy or a fish or a goddam car?
Morris had a car called “Isis”
But that’s not the champion
Because Daimler & Geely
Call their new baby
“Smart #1”
Smart #1?
REALLY!
Smart #1
I wouldn’t drive a car call Smart #1
CHORUS 3
But I’d drive a car called Christmas
And I’m an engineer
Not fuelled by diesel, gas or battery
But powered by a dozen deer
Yeah I’d love a car called Christmas
And I would volunteer
That the best thing about it is
There’ll be a brand new one next year
And the best thing about it is
There’ll be a brand new one next year.
A brand new one next year.
A brand new one next year.
Hey, Merry Christmas everybody
And a happy “new model year”.
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Written, produced & performed by Gareth Jones
Rock 'n roll guitar by Michele Natelle
Additional production advice from Steve Allan Jones
Music for "Who Wants To Be A Mastermind" by Steve Allan Jones
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Gareth Jones On Speed will return for Season (err sorry series) 20 in 2024
