Published: 12 Dec 2024
Duration: 00:55:19
Presented by: Gareth Jones, Alex Goy & Zog
#505 The Most Wonderful Time of the Year. Gareth, Zog & Alex celebrate 2024 on track and on the road, and give each other the worst gifts imaginable. Plus: On Speed motorsport messages, Stanley Unwind’s Knotivity and “Loose Springsteen” sings eXmas.
Loose Springsteen - eXmas
So this is Christmas
It’s the same every year
You beat me fair & square my friend
I salute with a cold beer.
So this is the season
Or my last one with you
It’s end of our relationship
From me to you pal
Its adieu.
This ain’t Christmas…
This is eXmas
What d’you expect?
Now you’re now my ex
It’s not complex
This is eXmas.
Last Christmas
I gave you a gift
When at the last race
I gave my throttle a lift
I let you through to win for the team
A team of one is what you really mean.
So now that is done with
I can get on with my new life
Find a new ally, a teammate
Who knows maybe I’ll find a wife? ...who can drive.
On eXmas eve, under the tree
You won’t find a gift from me
I may have gone, but I’m not alone
I’m in a new team, I found a home
So Merry eXmas, no fear
I’ll beat you in the New Year.
This ain’t Christmas…
This is eXmas
What d’you expect?
Now you’re now my ex
It’s not complex
This is eXmas.
What d’you expect?
Oh I wish it could be eXmas every day.
-----------
Keyboards & drums by Steve Allan Jones
Saxophone by "The Ex Doctor" Steve Summers
Written, performed and produced by Gareth Jones
And, there were in the same county 3 shepherdlodes: - Alan Shepard, a German Sheppard & Sheppard’s Bush, all singing “Abide with me” in a field. Whilst playing keepy-up over their flock by night.
And, Lola, the angle of the Lord came upon them at 90 degrees to the perpendicular, and the glory-hole of the Lord Hesketh shone on a roundabout. And they were sore, and deep afraidlode.
And the angle said unto them: “Fear knots (and other methods of tying string): for, behold (and also A-hold and what happened to C-hold?), I bring you good tidiness and great deep joy, which shall be to all people and also everyone. Four of you is Bjorn Waldergaard this day in the city of Dave Richards a Saviour, which is Tom Kristensen the Lord of Le Mans”. “And this shall be a road sign unto you two and three; Ye (also known my other rappers names) shall find the member of the Sugababes wrapped in swaddling racing overalls, with a lying manager.
And stubbornly there was with the angle - a multi-tool of the heavenly Silver Spirit (oh whafty pleasure) saying: “Glory to God in the highest, on the top step of the podium, and on Earth: peace & Good Year tyres will go toward men… and also men”.
Now after Cheese was born in Bethlehem behold, 3 wide men from the East (probably Ipswich) came to Jerusalemlode, saying, “And did those feet in ancient time walk it up trickly hill on England's mountains greenie? And also “Where is He who has been bought King of the Apple Juice? For we have seen His Polestar in the East and have come to worship“.
They departed their fringes; and behold, the Mitsubishi Starion which they had seen in the East went before them, they went after it because before them was the thing that they were going after.
It came and stood over where the young Adrian Childs was. When they saw the start, they Joyced, then realised they had started incorrectly so they re-joyced (oh folly) with exceedingly good cakes and deep joy.
And when they had come into the house, which was not a house but a barney Stablemode they saw the Paul Young Child with His mother Mary Christmas, tock follolop fell down and furnished Him.
And when they had opined their treasury Boxters, they presenty Him grifts: The song “Gold” by Spandau Bullet, Frank Spencer, (oh some folly do have ‘em) and a mirror.
And then Al lived happily ever afterlode until all-bad Calvary cross-nailing happened. Oh deep folly Merry Fimble
---
Gareth Jones On Speed will return for Season 21 in 2025
